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Thursday, July 21, 2016

Lies and the liars who tell them



So last month, I decided to venture on to a new journey and recreate crafts from a blog that I frequent often with the notion that they COULD ALL BE MADE IN 10 MINUTES OR LESS (I picture an infomercial voice here).  Well they lied.  Lied, lied, lied.

The first one wasn’t too far past the 10-minute mark, but this one?  Almost a full HOUR past that mark.  I’m trying to figure out when they use the timer?  Is it just the sewing time?  Just the cutting out the pattern time?  Just the pinning time, or just the “I’m going to say it only takes 10-minutes to really piss people off” time.

Here's the link to the blog, just in case you want to try out this 10-minute 1-hour+ project.

So here’s how it went… I saw the project for oilcloth placemats and since I bought this oilcloth years ago with every intention to make something cool with it (that sh#t is expensive!), I realized now was my chance.

Cute fabric, right?  Who knows when I bought it, but I obviously never used it.

First, I cut out the placemats in both the oilcloth and backing - yes you have to cut out a front part (oilcloth) and a backing (cotton).  Maybe they meant the time it takes to make ONE placemat?  But who in God’s name only uses one placemat??  I digress… 

Then I cut out the template for the napkin/utensil holder and pinned it on the oilcloth to cut out.  I finally attached the napkin/utensil holder to the oilcloth portion and stitched around it. 


Time check!
26 minutes of cutting and pinning, a wee bit more than the 10 they promised
 
Placemats with napkin/utensil holder stitched on

Then I sewed the oilcloth and the backing together which was super easy (I love me a straight line – which never winds up being very straight since I can’t seem to cut, draw, or sew straight).  Then instead of using a rotary cutter with the pinking edges, I used my pinking shears.  Holy wow did my hands hurt after doing all six!

Final time check - almost a full hour more than promised. 

Side note…I stupidly folded my oilcloth and read that I was not to iron it, but it would eventually lose all of its creases.  I tell you the world if full of liars.  Two weeks later and I still have creases. GRRRRRRR.

After it was done, I decided to put my Cameo to use and individualized each placemat… one for me, one for daddy, one for Peaches, and one each for the people who dine with us most frequently: Bridget, Grammy, and Donnie.  Are they cute?  I guess.  Were they worth the hour plus?  Good God no.  Which leads to find another list of projects where I don’t feel like I need to go the confessional afterwards because I’ve used so many expletives.